Linda - October 23, 2022
It’s been a quiet morning at the house. Lauren and Bella are at the hospital together right now with Brian so I can get some needed rest and cleaning done around the house. It is weird waking up without Brian next to me or up making coffee. The thought of this possibly being my future every day is clearer than ever this morning.
Brian’s doctor explained to me that he suffered a stroke, and they are putting him in a medical coma to give his brain a moment to rest to avoid further injury while he hopefully recovers. It was overwhelming to look over the lists of medications and understand all these decisions doctors are making on his behalf. This is where I now wish we’d have talked more about this kind of thing…but how do you plan for it? Lauren frantically googled all the different medications and made a list. I feel bad for Bella, watching Lauren and me stress over everything. It is very mature of her to take time away from school to be here. She said she might come sleep here at the house tonight, so I don’t have to be alone. Even with all the stress, I feel so lucky to have such a great family surrounding me.
Lauren - October 23, 2022
I just spoke with dad’s doctor, and they confirmed he suffered a stroke. They’ve put him in a medical coma to aid his recovery. I’m sitting next to dad while Bella goes to do some schoolwork at a coffee shop nearby. She flew in yesterday afternoon from Oregon and seemed pretty burnt out once she got home. I feel bad that this is going to be her memory of freshman year in the future, but hopefully it won’t last too long.
It’s been hard dealing with mom the past few days. She’s exhausted, of course, yet refuses to face the reality that dad might not recover. I know there’s a chance he’ll survive, but then he’ll need rehab and other physical therapy. I spent the morning searching for different specialists for a second opinion. Mom is just too overwhelmed to make any decisions moving forward. I know there are ways to plan for these things, but I feel like Mom does not have a voice for what Dad would want.
Despite everything, it is a warm fall day. Once Bella gets back, I’m going to ask her to join me on a walk in the park nearby. We haven’t spoken a lot about her experience at school so far and I think it could be a nice distraction to spend some time hearing about her new friends.
Bella - October 23, 2022
I was able to get away from the hospital for a few hours to get work done. There isn’t much to do there but sit at grandpa’s side and wait. Mom and grandma have been shutting me out of the meetings with doctors. I understand their concern for me and if I can handle this, but having information about what’s going on helps me feel less worried. Sitting outside the door while they get to ask the doctor questions makes me feel crazy. They fill me in afterwards, but I don’t understand their objection to me hearing the truth of the situation. I feel so alone at school and these anxious thoughts make it worse. While being somewhere new can be freeing, I miss having people to go to in serious situations or simply knowing they were there.
Most of my professors were kind, letting me leave campus for a week or two. I don’t know how long all of this will last, but I feel I need to be with family for at least a few weeks before heading back to school. I’m missing a psychology exam and some group project stuff for chemistry, and I feel bad, but I think they will understand. I’m trying to make up for my absence by helping look at data and writing part of the report. The stress of waiting for more news about grandpa is making it impossible to focus.
Mom and dad keep fighting a bit about everything. Basically, mom is super stressed about the entire situation and dad is helping as much as he can while starting his new position at work. It is weird being back since moving out, my bedroom already feels like it belongs to a former self.
I need to get some more work done before I head to grandma’s tonight. We are going to make dinner together and clean the house, so it is nice for grandpa’s return. I’m trying to be optimistic, but it is hard each day that passes with grandpa’s condition being unknown.
