Linda - November 10, 2022
Brian has been home for about a week now. It is difficult adjusting to our new reality together but having him home again is the most important thing, even if that home feels different than before. Most of Brian’s post-stroke symptoms are related to speech and expression, although eating has been difficult the past few days. It makes sense that he has to relearn a lot of basic movements while his brain continues to slowly recover, and he begins physical rehabilitation.
I keep track of all his medications and appointments in a separate notebook, which Lauren has organized. She is so helpful at the moment, and it makes me glad she’s stayed close to home as an adult. My other friends have children living farther away and I can’t imagine if Lauren had to leave after a week or so. Even poor Bella seemed too shaken to go back to school so early after Brian was discharged, yet she has midterms before returning during Thanksgiving.
I am looking forward to celebrating Thanksgiving as a family, even if it feels different this year. Brian will be unable to carve the turkey like he usually dos, but having him home and able to join us at the table is a real blessing for the entire family.
As small as it seems, not having Brian carve the turkey reminds me how often we take advantage of these little things. I never thought of it as a physically challenging task until Lauren mentioned it the other day. Just a few hours ago, I marveled watching Brian barely manage to grasp a spoon, the slightest of movements now feeling like a significant victory. I hope to never take advantage of my body and my brain again. Now, even the tiniest moments feel fragile and full of meaning.
Lauren - November 10, 2022
I spoke to mom this morning and she says dad is getting a little better each day. She seems enthusiastic for him to start physical therapy. We agreed to split the appointments between us so that dad feels comfortable around us both while he heals. He is going to need a lot of care going forward and it is unclear how much movement he’ll be able to recover through treatment. Mom remains optimistic and I feel like I am trying to be the realistic one between the two of us.
Just the other day, I had to remind her he can’t cut the turkey this year at Thanksgiving, something that hadn’t seemed to cross her mind. The reality of it made her sad and I tried to comfort her. She’s always been attached to traditions and only the thought of him being able to carve the turkey again next year brought her reassurance. Obviously, I’d love it if dad recovers that significantly, but I feel like the only one trying to accept our new family reality.
The truth is that we might be working together to care for dad for the rest of his life. Thankfully, I live close by which makes the situation easier, yet I hope mom becomes more accepting of the situation. I think speaking with the physical therapists will give her a better idea of what we can expect dad to be able to do again and what difficulties might remain.
Bella, on the other hand, seems shaken and scared to return to school. She left last night for Oregon and has exams to take within the next few weeks. I tried to comfort her with the fact that mom and I are doing our best to care for grandpa while she’s gone. She’ll be back so soon for Thanksgiving, and she should just spend the next two weeks focusing only on her studies. Of course, that is harder to do given the situation. I just really hope the stress doesn’t cause her to have poor results, but. I have faith she’ll be just fine.
The upcoming holidays are going to require the whole family to work together without dad’s usual involvement. While I try to remind myself that it will all work out, my body longs for bed just thinking about it all.
Bella - November 10, 2022
I just got back to my dorm room late last night. My flight was delayed a few hours and then my bag took forever to find. This morning, my roommates brought me back some breakfast cereal and muffins from the dining hall while they let me sleep in. They’ve really made the past few weeks easier. Sarah, my roommate, made extra copies of her notes for me for each class we have together.
Claudia, my best friend at school, put together a tiny gift basket for me with some of my favorite snacks and a gift card for our favorite cafe in town. I feel loved even though I am far from home. This experience made me realize how important it is to have close friends at school. Even though these connections might not last forever, they help to keep me grounded while I’m so far away from home.
I’m young and healthy, yet it makes me feel safe knowing that my friends would be here for me if anything happened. I trust that Sarah and Claudia would contact my family and be there for them and I would do the same for them. Before arriving in Oregon, I was nervous about making friends and while I am still finding my way, this family emergency made it clear that I’m already on the right path.
I feel completely overwhelmed by my upcoming exams. It will be a rough few weeks, but I’m motivating myself with the image of going home for Thanksgiving. I can’t wait to be home again, all seated at the family table with grandma and grandpa, and with everyone in their spot like it should be.
